Building Your Courage to Overcome Fear

Recently I was talking with a client about the concept of courage. She was pretty adamant that she didn't possess much courage because there were so many times during the course of her week that she found herself feeling incompetent or incapable of successfully completing her projects and tasks at work.

Now I have worked with this woman for a while and I know she is an incredibly talented women and very successful in her business. She is constantly pushing herself to develop new ideas and try new things. So, I found it very surprising that she did not see herself as being courageous.

As we talked further I realized a couple of things. First, it can be difficult to see yourself as being courageous; for we mostly do what it is we have to do and then move on to the next project without taking time to fully appreciate what we have accomplishedand the courage it took to get us there.

And secondly, most of us think of courage in terms of what I call "heroic courage", the kind of courage exhibited by fireman rescuing people from burning buildings or people in the military fighting wars. We don't think about the other kind of courage, the "quiet courage' that lives inside each of us - the courage we can always call upon when we get stuck or blindsided by fear.

Courage isn't a mystical force that only belongs to a special few. Courage is defined as the ability to keep moving forward in spite of all the fears and doubts that might arise along the way. Courage comes from the rational and intellectual part of your brain and it has the ability dismantle the stories and beliefs that your emotional part of the brain has created to keep you stuck. Courage gives you the power to break down your fears and doubts one step at a time; and with every fragment of fear you break down, your courage increases.

However, many of us have lost touch with this amazing power. We have listened so long to the voices telling us that we are not smart enough, good enough or deserving enough to achieve what we want, that we have integrated these stories as the truth. So, when we step out of our comfort zone and try something new, we interpret the fear we feel as proof that we can't do it, that we can't reach our goals. We start to feel overwhelmed and retreat to the safety of our comfort zone feeling incompetent and dejected.

But you don't have to take that road. There is a way to face the fear inherent in any change, and still keep moving forward. The key lies in being able to tap into the quiet courage that resides deep inside of you and use its power to overcome our fear and successfully achieve your goal.

Reconnecting and strengthening your courage takes time, especially when you are used to reacting to the voices of fear instead proactively enlisting the power of your courage. And, just as you do when you build up your muscles, you need to start slowly and be consistent in your training. The following exercise is a great starting point.

EXERCISE: Building Your Courage

Step One
Think of something that you want to do but haven't because of fear/doubt. You might want to start with something small.

Step Two
Write down all the fears/doubts that come up when you think about tackling this project. Be specific.

Step Three
Now prioritize your list of fears from the least scary to the most scary and starting with the #1 - the least scary - ask yourself: By itself, is this fear still a fear? If not, you can move on to the next. If it is still
a fear, then ask yourself:

1. What am I afraid of? Be as specific as you can.

2. What do I need to do to overcome this fear? Options could be: Information, resources, talking with a friend or just jumping in and doing it. As you work through this step, notice the sensations in your body and remind yourself that they are just sensations and by themselves they have no meaning.

Also, notice what the voices are telling you. If you start to lose your confidence, take a moment to sit quietly and get back in touch with the rational and courageous part ofyou. Ask for support. Work with a friend, coach or counselor. Write yourself little pep notes - do whatever it takes to stay centered in your courage as you work through this fear.

3. Continue through your list, viewing each of these fears from the rational part of your brain. Remember the courageous part of you knows you are perfectly capable of making this happen and will give you the support and strength to make it happen. As you work through your list notice how much easier it becomes to draw upon your courage and how less often you will get tripped up by the stories of your fear.

There will be bumps in the road. There will be days that you might falter, when things seem a little too hard, when you think you won't be successful. Don't let these minor set backs change your course of action. You have what it takes to be successful in achieving your goals and once you realize it, fear will have very little power over you.

What is courage but having faith instead of fear? Michael J. Fox