Rx For Courage: Do One Scary Thing a Day

Do you know that you have all the courage inside you that you need to tackle any fear or doubt that you might encounter? I know that some of you are probably shaking your heads right now, thinking, “Not me. I don’t have much courage. I am always getting blindsided by fear.” The truth of the matter is that you do have the courage; but because it hasn’t been used very much, it could be a little flabby.

Courage is like a muscle. To be able to use it effectively we need to exercise it on a regular basis. But most of us don’t think about exercising our courage. We only think about courage when we are faced with a large, anxiety-producing task; and then we get upset with ourselves because we don’t have the courage to overcome the fears and doubts that are associated with accomplishing that task.

So, let’s talk for a moment about how you might go about exercising your courage, building it up so that it will be there ready for you to call upon when needed. Building up your courage is like building up muscles. You need to start slowly.

First, you need to familiarize yourself with your courage. Since many people don’t think they do not have any courage, the first thing to do is to get a frame of reference of what being courageous feels like. One way to do that is to take a moment and remember a time when you felt courageous. It could be something small or something big. It could be recent or something that happened a while ago. Maybe it was when you were a little kid and you finally learned to dive. Maybe it was a difficult conversation or a speech you had to make.

Can you remember what made you decide to do it? How did it feel to step into your courage and power, to follow through on something that was important to you? What made you overcome the fear and just do it? Can you remember?

Now that you have a point of reference, you can use that experience as a motivator as you try new things. You’ve done it once, you know what it feels like and you know you have the ability to do it again.

The next step is to do is to actually tap into your courage. Think of something to do that scares you a little. Choose something small. Maybe it’s making a phone call you’ve put off. Maybe it’s asking a favor of someone. Maybe it’s just saying “hi” to a stranger on the street.

The “what” doesn’t matter. What matters is to choose something that gives your stomach a minor case butterflies or that causes the voices in your head to quietly remind you that this isn’t a good thing to do. And then, do it anyway. Each time you break through the wall of fear and doubt, you build up your courage. Eventually the scales will tip and courage will consistently triumph over fear.

But this all takes time, intention and repetition. So, I invite you for the next 30 days to choose one thing a day that pushes your fear limit. One thing that you think you can’t do, shouldn’t do, or don’t want to do because the voices of fear and doubt are telling you that you are not up to the task. Just one thing a day.

After each task you do, take a moment to think about how it felt to do it, what happened to the voices, how you feel now. With each task you are exercising and building your courage. You are becoming more confident and empowered to live your life the way you want to live it; and not the way the voices of fear and doubt want you to live it.

And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful that the risk it took to blossom. Anais Nin

Is It Time To Jump Into Your Dreams?

I have talked with several people this week who are feeling stuck in their lives. They can describe what it is they want to do, but they can’t seem to take that first step toward making it happen. It seems like the older we get the more difficult it is for us to jump into our dreams. What is it about leaving the safety of our known world that is so hard for us?

As adults, we have spent many years developing a specific set of skills. Whether we are a lawyer, teacher, accountant, or parent, we have worked hard to gain the expertise needed to succeed in the world; and for the most part, we feel safe and secure in what we do. Our world is a known entity and it is comfortable. Yet, sometimes it's actually having too much of this comfort that creates feelings of restlessness and disinterest in us. It is then that we start looking around for something new to do or try.

We create visions of changing jobs, starting a new hobby, pursuing a life-long dream, etc. We become excited and the possibilities seem endless. Then reality sets in. As appealing as embarking on a new adventure might be, the prospect of being a beginner and stepping into uncharted waters without knowing exactly what will happen stops many of us dead in our tracks.

We find ourselves feeling scared and uncertain and we retreat to the safety of our known world. However, we then may begin to feel discouraged or angry at ourselves for not being able to make the leap, and that just compounds our feelings of uncertainty and frustration. We begin to feel boxed in and we don't see any obvious way out.

So, how does one break out of this vicious circle? One way is to get in touch with the feelings of power and invincibility that you had as a child. Go to a playground or park and watch the children play. Notice how they are always trying to do new and harder things. Notice how they dare each other to go higher and faster. The world is totally full of possibilities to them. They see no boundaries and they have little fear.

Think about all the crazy things you did as a child and all the dreams you had for your life. Get reacquainted with that energy. Then ask yourself, "What is really stopping me now? Where is my fear coming from?" Listen carefully to your answers, and take some time to address the issues that come up. Then think about ways to integrate all the energy, enthusiasm, and passion of your little kid with the resources and skills of your successful adult. This incredible combination will allow you to achieve almost anything.

Remember to start your journey with small steps. Often times we jump into the deep end way too soon and our ultimate fears of not succeeding become a reality. Step off the lowest edge first. Allow yourself time to get used to the new experience. Become aware of your feelings, both the joy and excitement and the fear and the uneasiness associated with being in a new space. Use your support system to encourage and inspire you when you are feeling shaky, and make sure they are there to help you celebrate your successes.

With each step you take you will push your edge further out. Your world will become larger and more exciting. You will have new experiences, meet new people, and learn new things about yourself. The world, which at one time had felt so confining, will now be filled with unlimited possibilities of adventure and opportunity. You will have a renewed sense of passion and enthusiasm for your life. You will be living the life you truly want to live. All you need is just need enough faith in yourself and the process to take that first step. You can do it!

Come to the edge. No, we will fall
Come to the edge. No, we will fall.
They came to the edge. He pushed them, and they flew.
Guillaume Apollinaire

Setting Intentions, Getting Results

How many times have you come away from a meeting or a conversation thinking, “That didn’t go very well”? Maybe you didn’t get your point across as well as you would have liked. Maybe you lost your cool and got off track trying to prove your side of the argument. Or maybe you just zoned out and didn’t participate in the discussion at all.

You can go into an interaction with the highest of hopes; but unless you set specific intentions about how you are going to interact and what specific goals you want to achieve, chances are the outcome will not be all that satisfactory.

What does it mean to set an intention? The first thing to understand about intentions is that they are about you, not the other person. We only have control over ourselves, so our intentions need to be about how we want to act, about what we want to say and about how we want to feel at the end of the interaction.

Here are some sample intentions you might set before going into a meeting with a difficult person:

• I will state my point clearly using “I” statements and not get sidetracked by any emotions that may arise.


• I will listen to the other person carefully to hear what they are truly saying, not what I think they will say.


• When I feel myself losing my focus, I will take 3 deep breaths to calm and re-center me.


• After the meeting I will ask myself what I learned about me from this interaction.

Setting intentions does not guarantee success, but the process of clarifying what you want to get out of the situation greatly improves your changes of a positive interaction. It also empowers you. You are no longer reacting to the situation. You are now proactively responding from a place of confidence.

You are better able to articulate what you want to say because you have let go of your expectations of the other people involved; and you are better at listening and hearing what they have to say because you not spending time planning your next defensive move. You are no longer there to defend yourself. You are now there to be yourself.

Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is. Mary Anne Radmacher

Where is Your Focus?

The Tale of Two Cities

A man was walking down a long and dusty road. He had been travelling for days.
He came across an old women sitting near the side of the road just outside of an upcoming town.
He asked her "What is the city ahead like? Are the people there nice?"

The old women asked "What was it like where you came from?"
He said "It was beautiful and clean and the people were great"
"So shall you find the city ahead." the old woman responded.
Happily the traveler went along.

A while later another lone traveler on the same road approached the same woman and asked her, "What is the city ahead like? Are the people there nice?"
The old women asked "What was it like where you came from?"
"It was despicable, dirty and ugly and the people where horrid!" exclaimed the traveler.
"So shall you find the city ahead." the old woman responded

Author Unknown

Do you ever wonder why 2 people can have such different perspectives about the same situation? What makes one person see all the good and positive, while the other person only seems to be able focus on the negative and the bad? What causes this difference?

Zen teacher, Cheri Huber has a wonderful saying that goes, “The quality of your life is determined by the focus of your attention.

That means if we focus our attention on all the things that are wrong, then that is all we are going to see; and we will come to believe that world as a bad, dangerous and ugly place in which to live. Once we have that belief we will continue to find bad things to validate our story.

On the other hand, if we focus our attention on the good things, the things that are working, our perspective of the world will be entirely different. We will see it as a friendly and beautiful place and we will focus our attention on finding more good and beautiful things to validate our belief.

Where do you want to focus your attention?

Man is what he believes. - Anton Checkov

What If Someday Never Comes?

Is there a project you are going to do, a trip you are going to take, a book you are going to write or a class you are going to take, Someday? When exactly is Someday? It’s not a day that appears on any calendar I know of, so, how are you going to know when Someday is actually here?

It can be very easy to put off the things you want to do until some undetermined time in the future. Maybe you are waiting until you have more time, more money or more energy. Maybe you think there will actually come a time when your life will be less hectic and you will have the time and space to do all those fun things you have been wanting to do. But what happens if that time never comes? What then?

Maybe there is a different way to approach all this. Maybe it’s okay to take a little time for yourself and to do something that inspires you, gives you joy or makes you laugh. Maybe you don’t have to put off your dreams until Someday. Today or tomorrow could be the perfect day to start that new project or to sign up for that new class.

We waste a lot of our life waiting for the right time, when the only time we know we have for sure is this moment. Don’t squander the time you have for a time which may never come. If there is something you want to do, do it. Life is way too short to not live every moment to it's fullest.

Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Goethe