Stuff Happens

A few days ago I took my computer in to get some extra memory put in it. It had been really slow and I was told that putting some more memory in it would speed it up. When I picked the computer up, the service person told me that he had found some viruses on it; but he had cleaned it all up and it should be in great shape. I thanked him and was excited to get home and see just how much difference the extra RAM made.

The first time I turned the computer on everything was fine except for the fact that Outlook was downloading several versions of my e-mails. Not wanting to panic, I rebooted the computer which seemed to solve the problem. However the next day when I turned the computer on, I was greeted by the Ebola of computer viruses. There were virus alerts popping up all over my screen. I couldn’t get into any programs and the little red shield in the tool bar at the bottom was multiplying like rabbits. Within 2 minutes I must have had 50 of them along the bottom of my screen.

My initial reaction was pure panic, as I was certain that my computer was going to crash at any minute. But as I watched these different screens come and go, my panic turned to anger. First, I was mad at the service person for I was sure he was either totally incompetent or he had done planted something so that I would have to bring my computer back to him. After I exhausted my anger towards him, I then turned it toward myself and starting blaming myself for taking it to the wrong person.

I finally calmed down, turned the computer off and try to figure out what to do. Of course, this was on a weekend and we were at our cabin on the other side of the mountains, so the question became: Could I get this fixed before we had to leave. I decided the best approach was to call and leave a message for Jeff even though it was the weekend. And the good news is that he called me back right away and fixed my computer for no charge - and it has worked perfectly ever since.

But the really interesting part of all this for me was to watch my reaction and to see how I needed to find someone or something to blame. As I thought about this experience, I realized the less I feel in control, the greater my emotional reaction. And since I don’t know anything about computers, to have mine go completely berserk was a real trigger for me. I felt powerless and incompetent – not two of my favorite emotions.

This experience also clearly pointed out how easy it was to spend a lot of time and negative energy on something that, in the scheme of things, is not that important. And even if it were important, getting mad, finding blame and flying off the handle aren’t really the most effective ways to solve the problem.

Life throws stuff at us all the time. Sometimes it really is big, but most of the time, it’s just minor inconveniences – and it’s learning how to deal with these small, albeit irritating, events that helps us more effectively manage the bigger stuff in our life. We just need to remember that, no matter what the situation, we always have the power to decide how we want to react to it.

If we react with impatience and anger, chances are we are not going to experience the kind of results we want. However, if we can focus on the actual problem and look for practical solutions, chances are much greater that we will have a positive outcome. The choice is ours.

With every experience, you alone are painting your own canvas, thought by thought, choice by choice. Oprah Winfrey