You can go into an interaction with the highest of hopes; but unless you set specific intentions about how you are going to interact and what specific goals you want to achieve, chances are the outcome will not be all that satisfactory.
What does it mean to set an intention? The first thing to understand about intentions is that they are about you, not the other person. We only have control over ourselves, so our intentions need to be about how we want to act, about what we want to say and about how we want to feel at the end of the interaction.
Here are some sample intentions you might set before going into a meeting with a difficult person:
- I will state my point clearly using “I” statements and not get sidetracked by any emotions that may arise.
- I will listen to the other person carefully to hear what they are truly saying, not what I think they will say.
- When I feel myself losing my focus, I will take 3 deep breaths to calm and re-center me.
- After the meeting I will ask myself what I learned about me from this interaction.
Setting intentions does not guarantee success, but the process of clarifying what you want to get out of the situation greatly improves your changes of a positive interaction. It also empowers you. You are no longer reacting to the situation. You are now proactively responding from a place of confidence.
You are better able to articulate what you want to say because you have let go of your expectations of the other people involved; and you are better at listening and hearing what they have to say because you not spending time planning your next defensive move. You are no longer there to defend yourself. You are now there to be yourself.
Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is. Mary Anne Radmacher
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