How many times during a day do you hear yourself saying, “I’ll try to get that done”, I’ll try to be there”, I’ll try to make the time” or some variation of the “I’ll try” statement. What are we really saying when we use the term, "I’ll try”?
One thing we’re saying is that we really don’t want to do whatever it is that we responded to. If we truly wanted to do it, we would say, "I will be there". If we wanted to do it, but were unable for whatever reason, we would say, “I would love to, but I can’t." By responding, “I’ll try”, we lessen the importance of both the event and our participation in it.
The second thing we’re saying is that we don’t believe we have the capability to do it; and we don' think we have the courage to truly step into whatever the project/issue is. So, we take the easy way out and respond with a statement that has very little, if any, conviction: “I’ll try.” It’s a statement that keeps us stuck in our story of not being good enough, smart enough or strong enough to successfully achieve the task.
The third thing we're saying is that we don't even hear the ambivalence in our response because we have gotten so used to answering with a middle of the road response. We don’t realize that by replying with “I’ll try” instead of a "yes" or a "no", we are giving up our power. We are allowing other people and other circumstances carry us along to an endpoint that we may or may not like.
The language we use on a daily basis is a mirror of how we see ourselves and what we believe about ourselves. Phrases such as “I can’t”, “I should”, and “I’ll try” convey a very different message than the phrases, “I will”, “I want”, and “I can”. When we start to exchange weak language for stronger, more empowered language, our confidence grows and we begin to live our lives from a very intentional and courageous place. And it is from this place where we will find happiness, joy and success.
I invite you to start observing your language and see if the actual words you are using convey the message and/or the emotion you want. If not, try substituting stronger, more intentional words and see what happens. I think you will be pleasantly surprised with the results.
Change your language, change your thoughts. - Karl Albrecht
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
A Lesson from Nature
The dogs and I have just come back from our daily walk down to Lake Washington. Although it was a very summer-like afternoon, fall is officially here and I noticed that some of the trees were beginning to show their fall colors, and others were already beginning to lose their leaves.
I always feel a little sad when I see the first leaves of autumn fall, because I love summer and hate to see it end. But watching the leaves drop to the ground reminds me just how important the process of letting go is for renewal and rejuvenation.
Trees let go of their leaves so that they can make room for new leaves in the spring. The fallen leaves provide nourishment for the grasses and plants in the surrounding ground. If the trees refused to let go of their leaves, this cycle of life would be broken. The trees would become overloaded and would slowly die, as the space on its branches for new life would disappear.
There is a lesson in this cycle of nature for each of us. What do we need to let go of in our life in order to allow new growth to take place? The answer to that question may be found in several different areas of our lives. First, we can look at the material things we no longer need. We can clean out our closets and take the clothes and other items we no longer use to places like the Goodwill or Salvation Army so that they can passed on to people who truly need them.
Secondly, we can take a look at the activities we are involved in - boards, committees, sports teams, etc. Which of these no longer interests us? If we are just taking up space, it is time to leave and open up an opportunity for someone who has the passion, energy, and commitment to really contribute to the activity.
And thirdly, we need to look at the beliefs and memories we are holding on to that are holding us back in our lives. It is easy to become laden down with outdated thoughts and beliefs; but if we allow that to happen, we will end up just like the tree who won’t give up its leaves. We will become overburdened and lifeless, because will be no space for new growth.
Nature uses the seasons of fall and winter to let go of the old and unnecessary, and to rest and get ready for the budding of new life which comes with each spring. It is a cycle that works well. Maybe it would benefit us to follow nature’s example, and make sure that we, too, use this time as a period of reflection, release and renewal.
Everyone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn. - Elizabeth Lawrence
I always feel a little sad when I see the first leaves of autumn fall, because I love summer and hate to see it end. But watching the leaves drop to the ground reminds me just how important the process of letting go is for renewal and rejuvenation.
Trees let go of their leaves so that they can make room for new leaves in the spring. The fallen leaves provide nourishment for the grasses and plants in the surrounding ground. If the trees refused to let go of their leaves, this cycle of life would be broken. The trees would become overloaded and would slowly die, as the space on its branches for new life would disappear.
There is a lesson in this cycle of nature for each of us. What do we need to let go of in our life in order to allow new growth to take place? The answer to that question may be found in several different areas of our lives. First, we can look at the material things we no longer need. We can clean out our closets and take the clothes and other items we no longer use to places like the Goodwill or Salvation Army so that they can passed on to people who truly need them.
Secondly, we can take a look at the activities we are involved in - boards, committees, sports teams, etc. Which of these no longer interests us? If we are just taking up space, it is time to leave and open up an opportunity for someone who has the passion, energy, and commitment to really contribute to the activity.
And thirdly, we need to look at the beliefs and memories we are holding on to that are holding us back in our lives. It is easy to become laden down with outdated thoughts and beliefs; but if we allow that to happen, we will end up just like the tree who won’t give up its leaves. We will become overburdened and lifeless, because will be no space for new growth.
Nature uses the seasons of fall and winter to let go of the old and unnecessary, and to rest and get ready for the budding of new life which comes with each spring. It is a cycle that works well. Maybe it would benefit us to follow nature’s example, and make sure that we, too, use this time as a period of reflection, release and renewal.
Everyone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn. - Elizabeth Lawrence
Monday, September 21, 2009
The Touchstone
The following story is a great reminder for all of us to slow down and pay more attention to life, so that we can recognize and take advantage of opportunities as they cross our path.
===================================
When the great library of Alexandria burned, the story goes, one book was saved. But it was not a valuable book; and so a poor man, who could read a little, bought it for coppers.
The book wasn’t very interesting; but between its pages there was something very interesting indeed. It was a thin strip of vellum on which was written the secret of the “Touchstone.”
The touchstone was a small pebble that could turn any common metal into pure gold. The writing explained that it was lying among the thousands and thousands of other pebbles that looked exactly the same. But the secret was this: The real stone would feel warm, while the ordinary pebbles would be cold.
So the man sold his few belongings, bought some simple supplies, camped on the seashore and began testing pebbles.
He knew that if he picked up ordinary pebbles and threw them down again because they were cold, he might pick up the same pebble hundreds of times. So, when he felt a pebble that was cold, he threw it into the sea. He spent a whole day doing this but none of the pebbles he picked up was the touchstone. Cold, throw it into the sea. Pick up another, throw it into the sea.
The days stretched into weeks and the weeks into months. However, one day about mid-afternoon the man picked up a pebble and it was warm. But he threw it into the sea before he realized what he had done. He had formed such a strong habit of throwing each pebble into the sea that when the one he wanted came along, he still threw it away.
So it is with opportunity. Unless we are vigilant, it’s easy to fail to recognize an opportunity when it is in our hand and it’s just as easy to throw it away.
Author Unknown
Bits & Pieces
Economic Press
Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing that we see too late the one that is open. Alexander Graham Bell
===================================
When the great library of Alexandria burned, the story goes, one book was saved. But it was not a valuable book; and so a poor man, who could read a little, bought it for coppers.
The book wasn’t very interesting; but between its pages there was something very interesting indeed. It was a thin strip of vellum on which was written the secret of the “Touchstone.”
The touchstone was a small pebble that could turn any common metal into pure gold. The writing explained that it was lying among the thousands and thousands of other pebbles that looked exactly the same. But the secret was this: The real stone would feel warm, while the ordinary pebbles would be cold.
So the man sold his few belongings, bought some simple supplies, camped on the seashore and began testing pebbles.
He knew that if he picked up ordinary pebbles and threw them down again because they were cold, he might pick up the same pebble hundreds of times. So, when he felt a pebble that was cold, he threw it into the sea. He spent a whole day doing this but none of the pebbles he picked up was the touchstone. Cold, throw it into the sea. Pick up another, throw it into the sea.
The days stretched into weeks and the weeks into months. However, one day about mid-afternoon the man picked up a pebble and it was warm. But he threw it into the sea before he realized what he had done. He had formed such a strong habit of throwing each pebble into the sea that when the one he wanted came along, he still threw it away.
So it is with opportunity. Unless we are vigilant, it’s easy to fail to recognize an opportunity when it is in our hand and it’s just as easy to throw it away.
Author Unknown
Bits & Pieces
Economic Press
Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing that we see too late the one that is open. Alexander Graham Bell
Monday, September 14, 2009
How To Market, But Not Overwhelm
I am writing this blog because I would love you input on the following issue.
As some of you know, I am in the process of rebranding my coaching business, re-doing my web site and getting my book, Gentle Warrior, Awakening the Courage to Live a Bold and Brilliant Life, published. It has been a busy summer of working, learning and tapping into my own courage when everything gets a little too overwhelming.
One of the things I did to help me with rebranding my business was to join a Master Mind coaching group led by a very well respected and successful business coach. This is a six month class which covers everything from building your client list, to effective social media marketing, to how to run a teleclass, to creating products such as videos and e-books. The information and support I am receiving from this class is incredible. I have learned so much already and we have only been meeting for 3 months!
However, as I get more and more into marketing my coaching business, something becomes more and more apparent to me. In this fast-paced world of multi-media marketing, it is very easy to lose one's focus, to blend in with the thousands of other people out there also trying to market their services.
Everyone has something to sell that will make your life easier, make you more money, make your business grow or make you an instant success in your chosen field. And with access to social media entities such as Facebook and Twitter, anyone can market anything. As a result, we are inundated with too much information. I know I am tired of getting announcements of free classes I must take, videos that I must see and articles that I must read.
So as a marketer of a business, my dilemma becomes: “How do I market my services in a manner that captures the interest of my target audience, while respecting their time and allowing me to feel good about the information and invitations I am putting out"?
I would like to know how you feel about all this and I would sincerely love your feedback on the following questions.
1. Do you feel overwhelmed by the amount of marketing e-mails, Facebook entries or Tweets that you receive? What is “too much” to you?
2. What kinds of announcements, newsletters, informational e-mails do you enjoy the most?
3. What do you feel to be the most effective kind of marketing?
4. If you had one suggestion for people marketing their services, what would it be?
5. Any other thoughts?
Thank you for your help with this.
I learn by going where I have to go. - Theodore Roethke
As some of you know, I am in the process of rebranding my coaching business, re-doing my web site and getting my book, Gentle Warrior, Awakening the Courage to Live a Bold and Brilliant Life, published. It has been a busy summer of working, learning and tapping into my own courage when everything gets a little too overwhelming.
One of the things I did to help me with rebranding my business was to join a Master Mind coaching group led by a very well respected and successful business coach. This is a six month class which covers everything from building your client list, to effective social media marketing, to how to run a teleclass, to creating products such as videos and e-books. The information and support I am receiving from this class is incredible. I have learned so much already and we have only been meeting for 3 months!
However, as I get more and more into marketing my coaching business, something becomes more and more apparent to me. In this fast-paced world of multi-media marketing, it is very easy to lose one's focus, to blend in with the thousands of other people out there also trying to market their services.
Everyone has something to sell that will make your life easier, make you more money, make your business grow or make you an instant success in your chosen field. And with access to social media entities such as Facebook and Twitter, anyone can market anything. As a result, we are inundated with too much information. I know I am tired of getting announcements of free classes I must take, videos that I must see and articles that I must read.
So as a marketer of a business, my dilemma becomes: “How do I market my services in a manner that captures the interest of my target audience, while respecting their time and allowing me to feel good about the information and invitations I am putting out"?
I would like to know how you feel about all this and I would sincerely love your feedback on the following questions.
1. Do you feel overwhelmed by the amount of marketing e-mails, Facebook entries or Tweets that you receive? What is “too much” to you?
2. What kinds of announcements, newsletters, informational e-mails do you enjoy the most?
3. What do you feel to be the most effective kind of marketing?
4. If you had one suggestion for people marketing their services, what would it be?
5. Any other thoughts?
Thank you for your help with this.
I learn by going where I have to go. - Theodore Roethke
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Overwhelm: Just Another Form of Resistance
A few days ago I hit a wall. I was working on putting the finishing touches on my new web site. I was in the middle of creating a new teleclass and developing an introductory teleseminar for the class. I was working with my publisher to okay the final edits of my book so it can be printed and I was working on some marketing homework that my coach had assigned me.
All these things were interconnected and I want them all completed before I was the guest speaker on Simply Celebrate’s teleseminar next Thursday. (I would love to have you join us at: SimplyCelebrate). There was so much to do and everything needed to be done at the same time, so I found myself doing a little on each piece and not completing anything. I felt totally overwhelmed.
As I sat staring at my computer screen feeling completely frozen in indecision, I remembered a mentor of mine telling me that feeling overwhelmed was just another form of resistance. Our bodies are systems and systems don’t like change. So, when we’re moving fast, doing lots of things, our bodies try to slow us down by sending out little sensations that we interpret as overwhelm.
All of sudden our minds don’t seem to work quite as well. We don’t feel as organized as we did when we started the project. We begin to think that maybe this isn’t such a good idea and that maybe it would be wiser just to abort the mission. And many times that is exactly what we do when we reach this point. We give up. I know there was a big part of me who was ready to call it quits.
But luckily the rational part of my brain kicked in before I could make any rash decisions. And, when I was able to step out of my panic mode and look more objectively at where I was and what I was trying to accomplish, my feelings of being overwhelmed made perfect sense. Look at all the cool things I was working on. Of course I was going to feel resistance – I was changing my professional brand, my web site, my coaching services and I had a new book coming out. My system was being turned upside down!
So, what I needed to do was to find a way to get these things done in a way that was more congruent with my style and that didn’t upset my equilibrium quite as much. As I thought about it, I realized that trying to do a little bit on each piece of the puzzle didn’t work for me. I had to complete one thing and then move onto the next, trusting that eventually everything would get done.
And that’s what I did. I made a comprehensive list of all the tasks I needed to complete and systematically started checking them off. After I finished each task, I would take a break, hit my Easy Button which would enthusiastically say, “That was easy! and then give myself a pat on the back.
I still am working on some tasks and it may take a little longer than expected to pull everything together; but it will get done and more importantly I am, once again, enjoying the journey along the way.
The next time you feel overwhelmed, take some time and figure out where you’re getting hooked, what the resistance is about and what you need to do work around it. There are so many wonderful things out there to do and see. Don’t let the feeling of being overwhelmed get in your way.
If you want to do something you will find a way. If you don’t, you will find an excuse. - Anon
All these things were interconnected and I want them all completed before I was the guest speaker on Simply Celebrate’s teleseminar next Thursday. (I would love to have you join us at: SimplyCelebrate). There was so much to do and everything needed to be done at the same time, so I found myself doing a little on each piece and not completing anything. I felt totally overwhelmed.
As I sat staring at my computer screen feeling completely frozen in indecision, I remembered a mentor of mine telling me that feeling overwhelmed was just another form of resistance. Our bodies are systems and systems don’t like change. So, when we’re moving fast, doing lots of things, our bodies try to slow us down by sending out little sensations that we interpret as overwhelm.
All of sudden our minds don’t seem to work quite as well. We don’t feel as organized as we did when we started the project. We begin to think that maybe this isn’t such a good idea and that maybe it would be wiser just to abort the mission. And many times that is exactly what we do when we reach this point. We give up. I know there was a big part of me who was ready to call it quits.
But luckily the rational part of my brain kicked in before I could make any rash decisions. And, when I was able to step out of my panic mode and look more objectively at where I was and what I was trying to accomplish, my feelings of being overwhelmed made perfect sense. Look at all the cool things I was working on. Of course I was going to feel resistance – I was changing my professional brand, my web site, my coaching services and I had a new book coming out. My system was being turned upside down!
So, what I needed to do was to find a way to get these things done in a way that was more congruent with my style and that didn’t upset my equilibrium quite as much. As I thought about it, I realized that trying to do a little bit on each piece of the puzzle didn’t work for me. I had to complete one thing and then move onto the next, trusting that eventually everything would get done.
And that’s what I did. I made a comprehensive list of all the tasks I needed to complete and systematically started checking them off. After I finished each task, I would take a break, hit my Easy Button which would enthusiastically say, “That was easy! and then give myself a pat on the back.
I still am working on some tasks and it may take a little longer than expected to pull everything together; but it will get done and more importantly I am, once again, enjoying the journey along the way.
The next time you feel overwhelmed, take some time and figure out where you’re getting hooked, what the resistance is about and what you need to do work around it. There are so many wonderful things out there to do and see. Don’t let the feeling of being overwhelmed get in your way.
If you want to do something you will find a way. If you don’t, you will find an excuse. - Anon
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Be The Change You Want To See
The following words are said to be written on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop in the crypts of Westminster Abbey in London, England. They are a great reminder to all of us that the only person we need work on changing is ourselves. If we become the kind, compassionate and contributing human being we are seeking in others, the world will automatically be a better place.
“When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country.
But, it too, seemed immovable.
As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it.
And now as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: If I had only changed my self first, then by example I would have changed my family.
From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country and, who knows, I may have even changed the world.“
Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be. – Thomas Kempis
“When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country.
But, it too, seemed immovable.
As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it.
And now as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: If I had only changed my self first, then by example I would have changed my family.
From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country and, who knows, I may have even changed the world.“
Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be. – Thomas Kempis
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