Two Lenses of Life

Today is my birthday. It’s not a notable birthday in the sense of starting a new decade; but it is notable in the fact that it is ending a decade and that in itself is very powerful. Instead of looking forward toward my goals for the next 10 years, I find myself looking backward to see what I actually have done with the last 10 years.

There are 2 ways of looking at one’s life. One is through the lens of “doing” and the other is through the lens of “being”. Many of us automatically look through the "doing lens". What have I accomplished? What amazing things have I achieved? How many to-do’s have I left undone?

When I asses my last decade in through the lens of doing I come out with an okay grade. I transitioned careers, started my own coaching and writing businesses, wrote three books and learned how to blog!

But it’s when I look at this past decade through the lens of "being" that I feel really good. These last ten years have been one of amazing personal and spiritual growth for me. Through a series of synchronistic events I came upon Zen teacher, Cheri Huber, and the monks at the Zen Monastery Peace Center. I have become part of that sangha and the connection I have with the monastery, the monks and their practice has definitely been the highlight of this decade.

We never know where life is going to lead us. Ten years ago I would have laughed if someone had told me that I would be a regular retreatant at a Zen Monastery in California. That is certainly not how I saw myself.

But life holds all sorts of wonderful surprises for us if we are open to them. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without this Zen practice. And I am sure there are many other wonderful things out there just waiting for me to see them. The trick is to look at life through both our lenses – and not get too focused on the one that directs our attention only to the doing.

The reason for the journey is this: in a journey, discoveries are made.
Kobi Yamada

Spring - A Time For Renewal

It has been a long, cold and dreary winter here in the great Pacific Northwest, but signs of spring are finally beginning to pop up everywhere. The cherry blossoms are out, the daffodils are in full bloom and the birds are chirping their little hearts out. It’s a great time of the year – a time of new beginnings and new hope. It’s a great time to reflect on your personal dreams and goals. Are you moving closer to your dreams? If not, what is getting in your way?

I came across the following video the other day and I offer it as an inspiration to you to keep moving forward toward your dreams. The Dreams Movie (http://www.thedreamsmovie.com).

Whatever you can do, or believe you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Goethe

The Voices Are Not On Our Side

Today has been an emotional day and it has been interesting to watch how the voices in my head have been trying to control the flow of my emotions. I took one of our dogs in this morning for ACL surgery on his knee. It’s a fairly routine surgery and there wasn’t a whole lot to be concerned about. Yet, as I watched Slate disappear behind the doors of the surgery area, I was overwhelmed with sadness. I felt bad that I couldn’t explain what was going to happen to him and why we were putting him through this painful procedure. I felt sad that he went so trustingly with the surgical assistant thinking that he was just going to have a simple exam and then maybe get some treats.

I was embarrassed that I was crying, yet had I seen someone else in the same position crying I would have been touched by their emotion. All I could hear were the voices in my head telling me to buck up. Slate is just a dog and he isn’t worrying about all this so why am I?

The voices that try to control our lives are very cunning. They seem to know which buttons to push to make us feel as powerless and inept as possible. My button is around having to be strong, so the voices berate me for showing emotion. Another person’s button may be about not showing enough emotion, so when they aren't emotional the voices tell them they are being too stoic.

If we buy into what the voices are telling us, it’s a no-win situation. Whatever we do, it will not be the right thing. Our job is to learn how to down the volume on the voices and follow our heart which is what I finally did. I got in to the car and cried all the way home and felt much better. And Slate? He’s doing fine. He has been up for a short walk, has eaten dinner and will be ready to come home tomorrow!


At every moment of our lives, we are choosing between safety and growth. Cheri Huber

Thanks For Your Input!

Thanks to all of you who offered your input as to how I could make this blog more relevant and useful to you. There were some common themes such as decision making, career information, supporting sustainable change and grief and loss. I will do my best to address all these issues, either through my posts or by offering you links to great resources.

One of the suggestions that caught my eye was to offer inspiration quotes. As those of you who read my newsletter “Quiet Courage” know, I love quotes and start each newsletter with a courage quote. So, I decided to continue this tradition with this blog and start each post with quote that will hopefully inspire and motivate you. Feel free to send me any of your favorite quotes.

Today’s Quote:
Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go for it. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive. Howard Thurmond

What's Important to You?

The theme of this blog is how to successfully navigate the ups and downs of life transitions with courage, enthusiasm and intention.

Although it is very fun for me to share my thoughts and ideas through posts, I want the material of this blog to be relevant and useful to you, the reader. So, I would love to hear from you about what you are dealing with and what kinds of information and resources would be helpful for you to keep from getting stuck or sidetracked in your life.

Please take a minute and send me your ideas, thoughts and comments on the following questions. To help motivate you, the first 15 people who answer this questionnaire will be entered into a drawing for one month of free coaching with me. There will be 2 winners and one of them could be you! The winners will be contacted by April 10th.

If you would like to be entered into the drawing for a month of free coaching, please include your e-mail address with your comments. I will respect the privacy of your e-mail address, but if you want to ensure that crawlers don’t get a hold of it you can either leave spaces between the words in the address or use “at” instead of @.

Even if you don’t want coaching, please send me your thoughts. The more we share the more we all benefit.

I look forward to hearing from as many readers as possible and I will definitely share your thoughts in a forthcoming post. Thanks for your help with this.

1. What areas of your life are not working as well as you would like? Where are you feeling stuck? (job, relationships, family, financial, health, spiritual, etc.)

2. What kinds of information and resources would be the most useful to you?

3. What kinds of coaching services would you participate in, assuming the cost was reasonable? (Individual coaching, tele-classes, e-mail classes, monthly coaching calls on different subjects, other?)

4. Are there specific topics or areas of special interest that you would like to see me address in this blog?

5. Any other ideas or feedback?

Thanks again. Your feedback greatly appreciated!