Creating Space for Opportunity

Recently I was talking with a friend who was bemoaning the fact that nothing ever new and exciting happens in her life. Her life is very busy, but not many of the activities in her life elicit much excitement or enthusiasm.

Stepping cautiously into my coaching mode, I asked her to describe and rate, in terms of enthusiasm, the different responsibilities and activities that now occupy most of her time.

She started with work, which she rated a 6 out of 10. She sits on 2 nonprofit boards. She had been part of one board for six years and she rated that experience a 3; and she had just started serving on the second board and gave that an 8. She volunteers one afternoon a week at her child’s school which earned a 7 and she is the co-chair, for the fourth year in a row, for the school fundraiser. She rated that experience a 2. And she worked out at a local gym taking yoga and a spinning class and she gave that activity a 10.

As we broke the activities down, it became very clear which ones were stimulating and which ones were energy-drainers. We talked a little about the energy-drainers and what it was that kept her involved in these activities when they no longer seemed like much fun.

Her answers were the answers we all give. She was afraid of letting people down. She felt needed. She felt it was important to contribute to the community. Who would take over these positions if she were to leave? What would people think if she were to leave?

When we make a commitment to something, it is important to follow through on that commitment; but that does not mean we need to continue to be involved in that activity for the rest of our lives. Board positions have terms. Fund-raisers are annual events. We can say “no thank you” at the end of each term if we are not having fun or no longer feel we are really giving it our best.

Giving up our seats is often a good thing for it allows new people to get involved – people with new ideas and new energy. And it frees up space in our own lives for new and exciting opportunities to present themselves. There is a natural flow to life. Letting go of the old to make room for the new is part of that flow. Is it time to let go of something in your life?

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
Henry David Thoreau