This week has been one of those weeks when things did not go according to plan because people failed to follow through their commitments. I had 2 meetings canceled at the last minute because people got double-booked, a dinner canceled because my friend was too busy and I am still waiting for the edits of my new book, Gentle Warrior, Awakening the Courage to Live a Bold and Brilliant Life, that my publisher promised would be here this week.
Although these situations are somewhat annoying, they are also great examples of the fact that as the velocity of our lives continues to increase we take less and less time to clearly think through our commitments. How often do we actually follow through on the promises we make? How many times do we forget to return phone calls, cancel appointments, or no-show for meetings? How often do we volunteer to do something and then realize that we don’t have the time or interest to follow through?
Our society rewards “busyness”, so it is tempting for us to want to become involved in as many things as possible. One group wants us on their board, our boss wants us to sit on a special task force, and our best friend wants help planning his wife’s 50th birthday. We feel very needed and important, and that feels good. So, instead of taking a couple of minutes to think about what truly makes sense for us to do, we jump right in and say “Yes” to everything, when deep down we know that in some cases “No” would be the better answer.
When we agree to do something we are making a commitment to deliver on a promise. Whether that promise involves attending a meeting or just returning a phone call, we now have other people relying on us. Many times we don’t realize the ripple effect that occurs when we don’t follow through. When we don’t follow through it causes people to change their plans, which then causes the next layer of people to also change their plans, etc. Everything we do connects to other people.
The next time someone asks you to do something, take a moment to think things through before your respond. Don’t promise what you won’t, or can’t, deliver. If you don’t have the interest or time, say, “no, thank you”. Your honesty and clarity will be much appreciated, and you will feel better because you won’t have that responsibility hanging over your head like a dark cloud. When you do say “yes”, make sure that you have the time, energy and passion needed, and then deliver 110%.
While I am busy with little things, I am not required to do greater things.
Francis de Sales
Friday, May 01, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Tending Our Garden
The other day I walked by one of our neighbors who was out working his garden. Bill is a wonderful gardener and on this particular day he was tilling the soil and getting ready to plant a variety of different kinds of flowers and shrubs. It was fun to watch because he really knew what he was doing, and it was obvious that he loved the work. His garden is a source of great joy to him, and he gets a real kick out of all the fertilizing, weeding, and tilling that goes into producing such a beautiful yard.
As I watched him work, I couldn’t help but think of the similarities between taking care of a garden and taking care of ourselves. Each aspect of a garden needs something a little different to flourish. Some plants may need sunlight, some may need shade. If you have moss in your lawn you use a certain kind of fertilizer and if you want to get rid of weeds you use another. Some plants grow better with lots of water and some don’t need so much.
Most of us are pretty good at figuring out what our garden needs; and if we don’t know we can always ask the person at the nursery. Unfortunately, unlike plants, we don’t come with a tag around our neck describing our unique growing requirements. We are left to figure that out for ourselves.
Do you know what nourishes you? Do you know what is it that recharges you and reconnects you to the world? If you are not sure, take some time and think about what kinds of things feed you on a physical, emotional and spiritual level. The answer may take some digging because we live in a society that does not reinforce self-care.
Focusing on ourselves often translates into being selfish and self-absorbed. However, I am inviting you to challenge that belief. Think about the apple tree that produces such a wonderful fruit. Unless the tree is fertilized, pruned, and watered, it will wither and die and no longer be able to provide us with the fruit we need.
We are like the apple tree. If we want to be able to continue producing fully in all aspects of our lives, we have to take the time to care for and nurture ourselves. We need to discover what our individual “Miracle Grow” is, and then we need to make sure that we use it often to keep our lives as vibrant, productive, and fulfilling as possible.
Do not go where the path may lead, instead go where there is no path and leave a trail.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
As I watched him work, I couldn’t help but think of the similarities between taking care of a garden and taking care of ourselves. Each aspect of a garden needs something a little different to flourish. Some plants may need sunlight, some may need shade. If you have moss in your lawn you use a certain kind of fertilizer and if you want to get rid of weeds you use another. Some plants grow better with lots of water and some don’t need so much.
Most of us are pretty good at figuring out what our garden needs; and if we don’t know we can always ask the person at the nursery. Unfortunately, unlike plants, we don’t come with a tag around our neck describing our unique growing requirements. We are left to figure that out for ourselves.
Do you know what nourishes you? Do you know what is it that recharges you and reconnects you to the world? If you are not sure, take some time and think about what kinds of things feed you on a physical, emotional and spiritual level. The answer may take some digging because we live in a society that does not reinforce self-care.
Focusing on ourselves often translates into being selfish and self-absorbed. However, I am inviting you to challenge that belief. Think about the apple tree that produces such a wonderful fruit. Unless the tree is fertilized, pruned, and watered, it will wither and die and no longer be able to provide us with the fruit we need.
We are like the apple tree. If we want to be able to continue producing fully in all aspects of our lives, we have to take the time to care for and nurture ourselves. We need to discover what our individual “Miracle Grow” is, and then we need to make sure that we use it often to keep our lives as vibrant, productive, and fulfilling as possible.
Do not go where the path may lead, instead go where there is no path and leave a trail.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
The 10/10 List
A couple of weeks ago I was having one of those days where everything seemed really hard and there was no light at the end of the tunnel. I couldn’t find energy to work on my writing and I was feeling a little depressed as my coaching business was taking a real hit because of the recession. It was one of those “poor me” days which I really hate but I couldn’t seem to get myself out of that space.
Fortunately, my weekly call with my incredible coach was scheduled for that day. We discussed my less than optimistic mood and she asked me if I knew about something called the 10/10 List. She thought it might be a good exercise for me to try for awhile and see if could my shift my focus from "something’s wrong" to the more centered place of "nothing’s wrong". I agreed to give the exercise a try. I have been doing it for a week and it’s incredible! Here’s how it works.
Every morning I start the day of my creating my 10/10 List. First, I write down 10 things for which I am grateful. Then I write down 10 things that I would like to invite into my life. These can material things such new clients or exciting projects or less tangible things such as patience or laughter. I create my list, sit with it for a few minutes and then put it away and begin my day.
Acknowledging the things I am grateful for is a very uplifting way to start the day; and by creating a list of the things I want to invite into my life, I am opening up the channels through which I may actually attract those things.
I don’t know how it works, but I can tell you that doing this list every morning has resulted in concrete outcomes, (new projects, new clients, etc), as well as a greatly increased feeling of excitement and enthusiasm for my work.
I recommend the 10/10 list exercise for everyone, but esepcially those people who are feeling stuck, overwhelmed or a little down in the dumps. Try it and see what happens!
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass…it’s about learning to dance in the rain.
Anonymous
Fortunately, my weekly call with my incredible coach was scheduled for that day. We discussed my less than optimistic mood and she asked me if I knew about something called the 10/10 List. She thought it might be a good exercise for me to try for awhile and see if could my shift my focus from "something’s wrong" to the more centered place of "nothing’s wrong". I agreed to give the exercise a try. I have been doing it for a week and it’s incredible! Here’s how it works.
Every morning I start the day of my creating my 10/10 List. First, I write down 10 things for which I am grateful. Then I write down 10 things that I would like to invite into my life. These can material things such new clients or exciting projects or less tangible things such as patience or laughter. I create my list, sit with it for a few minutes and then put it away and begin my day.
Acknowledging the things I am grateful for is a very uplifting way to start the day; and by creating a list of the things I want to invite into my life, I am opening up the channels through which I may actually attract those things.
I don’t know how it works, but I can tell you that doing this list every morning has resulted in concrete outcomes, (new projects, new clients, etc), as well as a greatly increased feeling of excitement and enthusiasm for my work.
I recommend the 10/10 list exercise for everyone, but esepcially those people who are feeling stuck, overwhelmed or a little down in the dumps. Try it and see what happens!
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass…it’s about learning to dance in the rain.
Anonymous
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Procrastination and the Frog
Procrastination is a big problem for many of us. We make a to-do list and we manage to complete a few tasks on the list; but more often than not, the difficult and unpleasant tasks never quite get done. We just keep moving them from list to list until we get bored with looking at them and drop them off the list altogether.
Mark Twain once said that if the first thing you do each morning is to eat a live frog, then it’s safe to bet that nothing worse can happen to you for the rest of the day. What does this have to do with procrastination? Well, if we think of the hardest item on our to-do list as the frog and we tackle it first, then the rest of our to-do’s should be a breeze. Right?
I actually tested this theory out yesterday. I had a very unpleasant task to do which I had been putting off for a week. So, yesterday morning instead of seeing the words of the task, I envisioned a big, ugly frog staring back at me which did two things. First and most importantly, it made me laugh; and secondly it lifted the sense of dread of doing this task. I picked up the phone, made the call and with a great feeling of accomplishment and great flourish I “x’ed” the item off my list. .
Being able to cross off that difficult task was very energizing. I felt very empowerd and was motivated to keep moving forward through my to-do list. I no longer had to end my work day with that one item still niggling at my mind, distracting me and making me feel less than successful.
I encourage you to try the frog trick and see if it works for you.
Putting off an easy thing makes it hard. Putting off a hard thing makes it impossible.
George Claude Lorimer
Mark Twain once said that if the first thing you do each morning is to eat a live frog, then it’s safe to bet that nothing worse can happen to you for the rest of the day. What does this have to do with procrastination? Well, if we think of the hardest item on our to-do list as the frog and we tackle it first, then the rest of our to-do’s should be a breeze. Right?
I actually tested this theory out yesterday. I had a very unpleasant task to do which I had been putting off for a week. So, yesterday morning instead of seeing the words of the task, I envisioned a big, ugly frog staring back at me which did two things. First and most importantly, it made me laugh; and secondly it lifted the sense of dread of doing this task. I picked up the phone, made the call and with a great feeling of accomplishment and great flourish I “x’ed” the item off my list. .
Being able to cross off that difficult task was very energizing. I felt very empowerd and was motivated to keep moving forward through my to-do list. I no longer had to end my work day with that one item still niggling at my mind, distracting me and making me feel less than successful.
I encourage you to try the frog trick and see if it works for you.
Putting off an easy thing makes it hard. Putting off a hard thing makes it impossible.
George Claude Lorimer
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Blog Survey Winners
I want to thank all of you who responded to my survey as to what kinds of topics, resources and information you would like to see on this blog. Congratulations to Sharon and Linda, whose names were drawn for a month of free coaching!
I still want to hear from you. As I said before, I want this blog to be interactive and useful for the readers. So, please send me your comments whenever you have an idea. Just click on the “Comment” button and send me your thoughts.
Thanks!
If you are given the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
Lee Ann Womack
I still want to hear from you. As I said before, I want this blog to be interactive and useful for the readers. So, please send me your comments whenever you have an idea. Just click on the “Comment” button and send me your thoughts.
Thanks!
If you are given the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
Lee Ann Womack
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